» Co-Addiction

When Helping Becomes Enabling

Lisa Espich — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 03:04:03 +0000

Take a close look at the life of any person struggling with addiction, and you will likely find at least one family member or friend “helping” that person. Somebody making it easier for the addict to continue in the progression of their disease. This behavior is called enabling. The problem is that this form of helping is actually hurting.

So how do you know the difference between helping and enabling? Helping is doing something for another person when they are not capable of doing it for themselves. Enabling, on the other hand, is doing things that the person could and should be doing for him or herself. Enabling behavior makes it easier for an addict to continue drinking or using drugs because the consequences aren’t bad enough to convince him or her to stop.

Following are the top ten actions that fall under the category of enabling.

1. Taking on the addict’s responsibilities for them. For example, paying their overdue bills, cleaning their house, filling their car with gas, or buying them groceries.

2. Telling lies for the addict, such as ‘calling in sick’ for them when they are actually too hung over to work.

3. Making excuses for the addict’s behavior. Perhaps they act out in public, and you make the excuse that the addict has been working a lot of hours, so their behavior is due to stress.

4. Bailing the addict out of jail or financial difficulty.

5. Finishing a project that the addict failed to complete on his or her own.

6. Cleaning up after the addict. Perhaps they throw a tantrum, throwing things around and breaking them, and you clean it up.

7. Threatening to leave or kick the addict out of your home if he or she uses again, but failing to follow through on your threats.

8. Accepting part of the blame for an addict’s bad behavior.

9. Drinking or using drugs with an addict in an attempt to strengthen the relationship.

10. Avoiding issues that need to be addressed out of fear that the addict will become angry.

If you see yourself in any of the above examples, you may be enabling an alcoholic or addict. Knowledge is the first step toward positive change. Now that you are aware of these behaviors, you can start to steer yourself away from them, and avoid enabling a loved one’s addiction.

For additional a list of addiction resources and a Free preview chapter of Soaring Above Co-Addiction: Helping your loved one get clean, while creating the life of your dreams, visit http://www.soaringabovecoaddiction.com

The Divine in Every Person

Lisa Espich — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:17:53 +0000

I’m currently reading a book — Soul Mission, Life Vision, by Alan Seale. It helps you through the process of clarifying what your mission in life is, and how to move yourself in that direction. It’s a great book — I highly recommend it.

I wanted to share an activity from this book that can be helpful to those of us who love an addict. The activity is called: The divine in every person. Here’s the activity:

For one week, make a conscious practice of seeing the unfolding of an aspect of God (or spirit or love) in each person, regardless of the encounter. Let go of your judgements about what is “normal” or appropriate, and allow each situation to stand on its own, offering its particular gift. You will probably have experiences in which the divine is fully expressed and felt, and others in which fear, anger, or some other reactionary feeling blocks the possibility of divine expression. They are all a part of the daily human experience.

At the end of each day, reflect on your experiences or encounters and see what each has to teach you about the essence of divinity, and how divinity moves in your midst.

After reading this last night, it struck me how often we judge the addict. Is it possible, for one week, to let go of all judgement, and only see the God, spirit, or love in them? How might that feel? We are each imperfect human beings trying to make our way — can we learn to accept this and see the love shining through him or her, instead of holding each person up to a standard?

It’s only a one week commitment. I think its worth a try.

Have a wonderful week!

Surviving the Holidays When You Love an Active Addict

Lisa Espich — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 17:12:13 +0000

The holidays can be a magical time for families. It is a time for wonderful parties, great food, bonding, reminiscing about the past, and gift giving. Family members often travel great lengths to be together. For many people, it is the only time of year that their family is all in one place.

For those families who live with addiction, however, the holidays can be a challenging time. Not knowing what to expect from the addict can leave family members on edge. Because the problem is often kept quiet, the anxiety of the secret being exposed causes even further stress. Many times, family members will avoid social functions out of their fear of shame or embarrassment.

To make matters worse, alcoholic beverages are usually a mainstay at holiday gatherings. If a family member has an alcohol dependency, this causes yet another strain. The person with the alcohol dependency is left feeling like a child being watched, and the family members are unable to relax out of their fear of their loved one losing control. It’s no wonder that holiday arguments are a common theme for families dealing with addiction.

So how do you enjoy the holidays when there is an active addict in your life? Following are some tips for overcoming the anxiety and finding some peace this season:

Tip #1- Take care of yourself. The holidays can get stressful, even without the issues of addiction. When you add in the problems that surround the addict, the stress can become overwhelming. Schedule in time just for yourself. You have a right to enjoy the season, and in order to do that you many need to distance yourself from the addict in your life. This doesn’t make you a bad parent, family member, or friend. In fact, this can be a wake up call for the addict — a reminder that the world does not revolve around him or her. Take time every day to relax, go shopping, exercise, take a long bath, meditate, or whatever activity helps you to feel peaceful and content.

Tip #2 – Learn about addiction and the challenges surrounding your loved one. It can be difficult to sympathize with the addict when they continue to make bad decisions. We just can’t understand why he or she won’t stop using or drinking. To the family, it seems that the addict just doesn’t care enough to quit. Resentment can easily build. Unfortunately, the addict’s brain is no longer functioning normally. Repeated drug use disrupts the systems in the brain, eventually causing a one-track mission to seek out more drugs. The addicted brain believes it needs the drugs or alcohol in order to survive. It isn’t simply a matter of willpower. Once we understand this, we can look for ways to help the addict to treatment, and stop taking their behavior personally.

Tip #3 – Stay focused on your own recovery. Although time restraints can tempt family members to skip recovery meetings, now, more than ever, it is important to take advantage of support groups. If you haven’t gotten involved in Al-Anon, or other recovery groups, this is an ideal time. Through these groups, loved ones of addicts can share their experience, struggles, and hope, in order to gain strength and solve their common problems.

Tip #4 – Let go of past resentments. Much of the stress that family members feel is due to the bad memories of past holidays. Rather than holding onto resentment, and expecting the same negative outcome, learn from the past. Some family traditions may need to change. For example, maybe it would be best for your family to go out for the holiday dinner. Wine and other alcoholic beverages should probably be left out of the plans. Perhaps a new tradition of going around the table, and each person sharing what they are grateful for this year, would be a nice way of keeping the atmosphere positive.

Tip #5 – Don’t hold your expectations too high. We all want the picture perfect holiday, but in reality, nothing is ever perfect. Every family has it’s challenges. Statistically, addiction affects one in four people. You are not alone. It’s time for families to open up and learn from each other. This is why family recovery meetings like Al-Anon are so important. Make smart changes to your family traditions in order to make the holidays less stressful. And, most importantly, relax and enjoy the good times. If we are constantly looking for a crisis to happen, it will likely show up. If, on the other hand, we work on being positive, and stay in a grateful state of mind, we are more likely to enjoy this holiday season.

As the wife of a recovering addict, it always seemed that the addiction would get worse during the holidays. In reality, the addiction wasn’t getting worse, but my stress revolved around the addiction would intensify. For weeks before a family gathering, I would worry about the outcome. Every time my husband would slip, my fear of our holiday being ruined by addiction would overwhelm me. Because I kept his addiction a secret for many years, my fear of the rest of our family finding out was just another reason to worry.

Once I opened up to family members, and started reaching out for help, a world of weight was lifted from my shoulders. I encourage you to reach out to the people who care about you, and let them help to lift your load. Learn to take care of yourself and relax a bit. And, most importantly, don’t take the holidays too seriously. It is a time to have fun and to be grateful. Regardless of whether or not there is an active addict in your life, you can still create happy memories and enjoy this holiday season.

For additional articles and resources visit http://www.soaringabovecoaddiction.com

Soaring Above Co-Addiction Wins USA Best Books 2011 Finalist Award

Lisa Espich — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 18:45:46 +0000

I’m so thrilled to share that my book, Soaring Above Co-Addiction: Helping your loved one get clean, while creating the life of your dreams, has been named a Finalist in the USA “Best Books 2011″ Awards! This is it’s sixth award for the year, so I couldn’t be more honored!

If you haven’t had a chance to read my book, here is a link to read the first chapter: http://www.soaringabovecoaddiction.com/freechapter.asp

I wish you a Wonderful week!

-Lisa Espich, http://www.soaringabovecoaddiction.com

September is National Recovery Month

Lisa Espich — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 18:53:12 +0000

Because September is National Recovery month, it’s a good time to reflect on my gratitude for all of the blessings in my life. It wasn’t that long ago that I felt hopeless. My husband, Dean, was completely consumed by his addiction, and I was stuck in my own negative patterns. Even though I wasn’t the one struggling with addiction, I was still just as lost as he was. If there had been a poster child for the term ‘codependency’ I would have been it.

Over the course of nearly two decades, I had tried everything I could think of to scare, manipulate, or force Dean to get clean, but my attempts always failed. It was only after I turned my focus inward that everything changed. I now realize that I had played a part in the power addiction had over my family. Once I learned how to detach with love, focus on my own goals, and set healthy boundaries, Dean was finally able to gather the courage to accept help. Had I not taken healthy steps of my own, I’m not sure where we’d be today.

Thankfully, I don’t have to ponder that question, because we are celebrating recovery. While life isn’t perfect, and we are facing new challenges, we are stronger because of the battle we’ve fought. In many ways we are lucky, because our eyes have been opened to the simple joys in life. I am thankful for the smaller problems we face today (debt, struggling business, car troubles), these are a piece of cake compared to the problems we had faced in the past.

While recovery is one day at a time, my family is proof that recovery is possible. Addiction can be managed, and the addict can go on to live a productive and healthy life. Today I celebrate having Sunday off with my family, enjoying the beautiful weather outside, spending time with my grown son and his new girlfriend, taking an afternoon nap with my husband (as soon as I finish this post), and of course, I celebrate recovery!

Ten Warning Signs That You’re Loved One Has a Drinking Problem

Lisa Espich — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 02:35:47 +0000

In a society that not only accepts social drinking, but often expects it, how do you know if your loved one has a drinking problem? At work functions, family functions, and just about every party, drinks are often the common theme. So at what point does social drinking roll over into a drinking problem?

There is no certain amount of drinking that tells us somebody has an alcohol dependency. You can’t determine signs of alcoholism by whether or not a person consumes two drinks versus six. One person may have cocktails every night but show no signs of alcoholism, while another drinks only on the weekends and shows obvious signs.

Following are ten warning signs that social drinking may have crossed over to problem drinking:

1. Missing work or school due to late night partying.

2. A decline in energy levels and motivation.

3. Showing a lack of interest in activities that used to be important to them.

4. Intense mood swings that cause the people around him or her to feel as though they need to walk on eggshells.

5. A change in tolerance level. Maybe the person used to have two or three drinks at a function, but now they have five or six.

6. Becoming unreliable and missing regular appointments or activities.

7. Having blackouts or difficulty remembering what he or she did while drinking.

8. Telling lies to cover up their drinking.

9. Sleeping more than usual.

10. Having sudden financial difficulty.

If your loved one is showing any of these warning signs he or she may have a drinking problem. Awareness by family and friends is a start, but denial is a common symptom of alcoholism. It is likely that initial conversations around the topic of “a drinking problem” will result in a defensive response.

Family and friends can make a big difference in the recovery of alcoholism, but approaching the problem in the healthiest way is key. One of the best ways to learn how to help your loved one is through twelve-step programs such as Al-Anon. There are also online support groups, blogs, and websites that can help educate and prepare you for helping your loved one through this challenge.

Taking the First Step Toward Financial Recovery After Addiction

Lisa Espich — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 17:43:27 +0000

After two decades of addiction, my husband, Dean, had finally accepted treatment. He was on the right path and ready to begin a fresh start. As he returned home, clean and full of hope, the joy I felt for his long-awaited recovery was joined by the sobering reality of debt. Years of addiction had taken it’s toll on our finances, and it was difficult to deny the anger and resentment that surfaced along with the overdue bills and collection letters.

I was more than aware of our monetary problems, but, up to now, the addiction was the higher priority. I suppose that trying to deal with both issues at the same time was too overwhelming for me, so I buried my head in the sand when it came to our finances.

But now, as we entered this new chapter, we were forced to face the consequences of financial irresponsibility. With our credit cards maxed out, the equity in our home borrowed against (addiction treatment is not cheap), and our savings wiped out, a new challenge stood before us.

I understood how harmful stress can be on recovery. Money problems are enough to drive any marriage apart, when you add in the problems of addiction, it can be a devastating mix. I came to realize how important it was for me to accept responsibility for my own role in our debt.

Although I was the one in charge of managing our finances, I had allowed my husband’s threats, tantrums, and depression to break me down. I gave in, over and over again, handing him money that I knew we couldn’t afford. The addiction had zapped us both of our strength. Dean lacked the strength to say no to his drugs, and I lacked the strength to say no to Dean.

Knowing that continued resentment could only tear us apart and possibly lead to relapse, we made a pact to work together to get through this next hurdle. If our marriage could survive addiction, it could certainly survive the challenge of debt .

The first step was digging in and figuring out exactly where we stood. We sat down and listed the balances in our checking and savings accounts (which were alarmingly low), the amounts owed on credit cards (alarmingly high), and any outstanding loans. We made a list of our monthly expenses (looking for opportunities to cut down on certain expenses). Last, but not least, we reviewed our credit reports from each of the three Credit Bureaus:

Experian, http://www.experian.com

Equifax, http://www.equifax.com/home/en_us

TransUnion, https://www.transunion.com/　

While this process was difficult, it was also vital. Knowledge is power, and knowing where we stood made it possible to design a roadmap that would guide us out of our debt. Now, several years later, by following a plan and budget, we are nearly debt free.

Is it time to look at your own financial reality? Sometimes the hardest part can be facing the truth, but it’s the first and most important step. Once you know where you stand, you can make a plan. While addiction can cause long-lasting financial strain, through acceptance, forgiveness, and planning, you can overcome these effects and eventually achieve financial recovery.

Addiction and Denial: What Happens to the Family of the Addict?

Lisa Espich — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 04:51:47 +0000

Denial is a common stage for family members dealing with addiction. Throughout the course of my husband Dean’s addiction to alcohol and drugs I went through many years of denial. I didn’t want to admit the truth to friends, family members, or even to myself. I was filled with shame and felt like a failure because my marriage hadn’t turned out to be the fairy tale I’d dreamed of. But the first and biggest step toward my family’s recovery was acceptance. I came across this article by Marty Devins Chaplick, LMSW, which does a great job of addressing the issues of denial. Here it is:

Articles have been written about drug addiction and the effect on the addict. My goal is to address the signs of substance abuse as well as the feelings and experiences family members have dealing with addiction in the family.

When I use the word “addiction” I am referring to alcohol and drug addiction. There are different stages that family members go through on this bumpy road of addiction. In this article I will describe one of the most common stages parents experience, denial.

Denial

Is my family member an addict? You may be asking yourself that question, or be confronted by a concerned friend. If the person in question is your teenage daughter or son your first thought will be denial.

Denial is easier to handle than the instant pain you might be feeling in your chest. The feeling that I am referring to is your gut feeling. When you have a “feeling about something, we often sense it in our body. In my life experiences, I have learned to go with my gut feeling. I have found that it is better to be safe than sorry.

Perhaps your thoughts might be:

NOT my child.
My precious child would never do drugs.
I’ve raised my child in a loving home.
My child knows right from wrong.
I’ve taught him, her to be a respected member of society.
We are educated people.
My child does not do drugs!
He does not have a problem with alcohol.
He knows addiction runs in the family.
He does not want to end up like his uncle, or aunt, cousins, grandparent, etc..
My child is just a normal teen. He likes to have a beer or two with his buddies on the weekend.

“Everyone tries it ” is a common belief among parents of today’s youth. There is a difference between “trying it” and substance abuse and addiction. It is important as a parent to keep your eyes open.

We often make excuses for our family members substance abuse. For example:

“Billy drinks to drown out the sound of his parents fighting, he doesn’t have a problem.”
“Cindy needs to relax so she smokes weed every night.”
“Jared only gets drunk and passes out on the weekends. During the week Jared drinks a little but does not pass out. He must not have a problem.”
“Brenda needed those pills to relax. I don’t think she realized she took more than the doctor prescribed. Brenda seems out of it all of the time. But I don’t believe she is an addict.”
“My kid was at the ER with alcohol poisoning, high school boys do dumb things!”

Is this normal behavior or do these teens have a problem with alcohol or drugs? It is common to make excuses for family members when the thought of substance abuse is brought to our attention. It is much easier to be in denial, to look away from the problem.

When confronted with the possibility that a family member may be an addict it is natural to deny it. It is not something we want to believe about someone we love. We may have our own suspicions from observations we have made. Other people may have brought the problem to our attention.

Sometimes we see some of the symptoms and make excuses for the person that we love. It is easier to believe our teenager is going through a difficult time, or is ill or suffering from depression. It is appropriate to consider all of the options when addressing Addiction.

If we are finding empty liquor bottles hidden in the closet, under the bathroom sink, in the car trunk, we still might look the other way. Admitting that someone we care about has an addiction can be terrifying.

Finding drug paraphernalia in our kid’s room should be a sign that there is a problem. Empty pill bottles, missing pills from parent’s medicine chest, missing money, secretive phone calls and texts can be a clue.

Did a concerned friend warn you that your teen is using drugs or alcohol? A warning may come from another parent or another student. Try using an open mind instead of being on the defensive immediately. Is there a possibility that your teen is using drugs? As a parent it is worth investigating, you might save the life of your child.

Substance Abuse

Substance abuse and addiction knows no boundaries. It affects all socio-economic backgrounds, races and religions. It happens in families with good parents, abusive parents, divorced parents, loving families, poor families, rich families, educated families, uneducated families. Substance abuse is everywhere. It might be in your own home.

There are signs to watch for if you are concerned that your family member is using drugs or alcohol. For example there may be changes in mood and behavior. The teen that was once outgoing is now withdrawn, isolating himself, changing friends, constantly ill, missing school, not doing homework, not participating in family activities.

Or the teen that was shy and withdrawn is suddenly hyper, has mood swings, is losing weight, not sleeping, and has different friends. He may have developed a bad attitude or disappears for extended periods of time. Depression, anxiety, and paranoia can also be signs of substance abuse.

Teenagers are known for being flighty and irresponsible, that is part of their charm. Most parents can attest to that! This is different than a teenager that suddenly becomes irresponsible, rude, with an “I don’t care about anything” attitude. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm are other signs to watch for.

If the drug or alcohol use becomes excessive the teen that once cared about his or her looks may appear messy or unkempt. The same teen may become involved in risky behavior and become sexually promiscuous.

Did your teen suddenly lose his or her job, or get into legal trouble? Does he have dark circles under his eyes, red eyes or dilated pupils? Is your teenager constantly sick with symptoms such as vomiting, diarrhea and constipation? Did they stop eating, or do they only eat candy? Drug addicts often eat sugar to feel better.

Does your loved one become agitated or have a short fuse? Have you ever been afraid of your own teen after he or she used drugs or alcohol? A teen with a substance abuse problem can become violent when coming off of drugs. As a parent there may come a time when outside help is needed. The safety of your teen as well as your family could be at risk.

Family systems are affected in a negative way when a teen faces a substance abuse problem. It is okay to ask for help when faced with addiction in the family. Contacting a licensed therapist or counselor should be the first step for an assessment.

Marty Devins Chaplick, LMSW
http://www.mdcserenitycounseling.com

Marty is a a Licensed Master of Social Work in the state of Kansas. Marty sees clients in the greater Kansas City area with a variety of mental health issues and life problems. In her private practice Marty offers individual psychotherapy sessions for women, men and adolescents. Marty also offers marriage and couple counseling as well as group therapy for those recently divorced, survivors of sexual abuse, anxiety, depression and more. Marty has two office locations in Overland Park

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6334528

Best Family Recovery Websites and Blogs

Lisa Espich — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 01:17:32 +0000

Over the course of the last several years, many people and groups have played a part in my family’s recovery process. I am amazed at the incredible support available, and I am saddened by the many years I felt alone and helpless. I now realize that I never needed to feel alone.

In today’s message, I wanted to share my favorite recovery websites and blogs. These are the sites that I subscribe to and continue to visit over and over again because they are filled with invaluable wisdom, resources, inspiration, and hope. I thought you might appreciate them as well. There are an overwhelming number of sites out there, so I’m sure I’ve missed some great ones. If you have any particular sites that you’ve found helpful, please pass them on to me, and I’ll include them in upcoming posts.

Here are my favorites:

http://www.hbo.com/addiction

I believe this is a must visit site for any person affected by addiction. Be sure to view “The Films” tab. Knowledge is power — and there is much knowledge to be gained here.

http://www.drug-addiction-help-now.org/blog

This blog, written by Joe Herzanek — founder of changing Lives Foundation and author of “Why Don’t They Just Quit” — provides substance abuse help to families in need.

http://12stepfamily.com

Recovery coach, Beverly Buncher, teaches families the tools to transform their lives.

http://www.dailystrength.org

Here you can join an online group where people share their knowledge, experiences, and support.

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org

This is a public service website meant to help you or a loved one overcome addiction.

http://www.recoveredfamily.com

Full of great blogs, articles, and advice for families dealing with addiction.

http://theaddictedfamily.blogspot.com

This site is full of invaluable information about drugs and addiction.

http://www.recoveryissexy.com

Once I subscribed to this site I was amazed at how many great articles were offered regarding addiction, codependency, and recovery.

http://www.nar-anon.org

The Nar-Anon family groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else’s addiction.

So there’s my list of favorites. I hope you’ll find them as beneficial as I have. There is so much support available for families dealing with addiction. Recovery is a process, and these networks can help you to wade your way through. I also wanted to include the link to my website. If you haven’t visited it yet, I hope you’ll take some time to stop by!

http://www.soaringabovecoaddiction.com

Wishing you well!

Affirmations – The Power of Positive Thinking

Lisa Espich — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:09:32 +0000

For anybody who has read my book, they know that affirmations and the power of positive thinking played a big part in my own recovery from codependency. While it’s easy to blame all of our problems on the addict, we really can take control of our lives and make healthy changes, regardless of whether or not the addict ever gets clean.

I discovered, that by making my own improvements, and by focusing on my own goals, I created the best environment for my husband to accept help. He has now been clean for over six years, and I have no doubt that my own positive thinking lead the way. While you can not take the addiction away from your loved one, you can start to change your own thinking and mindset. Amazingly, this can have a miraculous effect on the healing of your entire family — I’ve witnessed this in my own life!

I came across this great article by Paige Mercer. It’s a nice introduction into the power of affirmations and the power of the mind:

A cliche that you usually hear from a movie or television show is, “It’s all in the mind.” When you hear this statement, it is being suggested that all the things that happen in your life, every little thing that you experience is brought about by your thinking. Yes, your mind is a powerful source of eventful situations. This is not unknown to many, especially to the people who have successfully made history in the world.

Positive affirmations are a facet of a law that governs the universe. This law has been here since the world began and it is connected to the minds of every human being. The law of attraction is the universal law that governs you and every other individual on earth. This law states that anything you conceive in your mind can easily be achieved. The law of attraction exempts no one; each person is under the power of this law.

What does this law have to do with positive affirmations? How does this bring about the mishaps in your life? Imagine that your mind is a magnet that attracts every small thing that it thinks of. Visualize yourself thinking about your troubles all throughout the day. What does your mind do? It attracts negative things so they happen to you. When you think about problems more than positive affirmations, more problems come to you. When you put yourself on the negative side of things, they crop up more and more. That is how the law of attraction works.

Now, how are you going to make the law work in your favor? The answer lies in positive thinking. The solution is in prioritizing favorable thoughts more than negative ones. Envision yourself having paid your home mortgage or having been promoted at work. See yourself successful and feel like success is already in your hands. Repeat these thoughts over and over until you vibrate them to the universe. Soon, the universe is going to give you what you attract. Soon, all your positive affirmations will be transformed into reality. That is exactly how you can let the law work in your favor.

The power of positive thinking has been proven for years. Many successful entrepreneurs and journalists have made their money using only these positive thoughts. The law does not work like magic; it is a law that works enigmatically.

If you want a rational explanation of these things, here it is:

When you focus yourself on positive affirmations, you do not only attract them to come to you; you also begin to act to get these things done. When you put your concentration on these things, they become part of you and you become them. This is the ultimate reason why you should think of things as though you already have them, so that they become part of you and you achieve them.

The same thing works for negative thoughts, but since these are detrimental for you, they should be thrown out of the window. If you let positive thoughts govern your life, there is nothing that you cannot have.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3841647

For more insight on this topic here is a list of my favorite books that teach these principles:

Creative Visualization, Shakti Gawain
Manifest Your Destiny, Wayne Dyer
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepok Chopra

And, my own book, Soaring Above Co-Addiction, has several chapters dedicated to the teachings of affirmations and visualization. I wish you all the best and I am available if you need somebody to talk to. Keep Soaring!